The Method For Falling In Love... Consciously
We seem to fall most deeply in love with the most unavailable people, or with people capable of hurting us the most. As a consequence, we may wall ourselves off from the experience of falling in love, out of fear. Or, we continue to futilely and painfully seek someone to gratify the deep desire for intimate acceptance that is inflamed by falling in love. In this article we will explore another option: how to fall in love consciously, instead of madly.
The phrase, “madly in love” is an accurate description of what usually happens when we experience the joy and desperation of falling deeply in love. We immediately begin relating to our beloved as our source for a meaningful, satisfying experience of life. We set about trying to control, manipulate and dominate to feed off of our beloved. When she fails to perfectly comply with our desires, we begin resenting her. Our so-called “love” can so easily turn into hate. This is when contention takes root and begins to fester, until we see our beloved as our betrayer. The “honeymoon” phase has ended, and the dark dramas of unrequited love begin.
It is madness to relate to our beloved, or as any other person, thing or circumstance outside of ourselves as our source. The reality is that we cannot get what we want from our romantic love-partner, no more than Romeo and Juliet were able to get what they wanted from one another.
The only way to get what you want from falling in love is to completely relish the feeling of being in love, with all of its longing and feelings of loss. Instead of trying to get your beloved to vanquish your desire, let your desire vanquish you. Live in the energy of it, in its flow of life more abundant. Experience all of the pain and discomfort of love while truly and fully supporting your beloved’s freedom to do exactly as she pleases without any degree of interference coming from you. This is to fall in love consciously, rather than falling in love madly.
Romantic love never works out the way we want it to as long as we want something from our beloved that is not presently forthcoming. We have to transcend our personal ego-cravings by allowing those cravings to exist, without letting them run us into action aimed at turning the pain of wanting into the pleasure of having.When having happens, enjoy it. When it is not happening, enjoy that.
If you are living in an internal state that feels incomplete, needy, empty or longing you are manifesting lack in your life. The more you want from your beloved, the less you will receive. The more you try to get what you want, the more want you will get. The way that we pursue what we want determines what we receive. When you approach life from a place of fullness and complete satisfaction you find more of what you want automatically coming to you.
Feelings of neediness indicate a state of imbalance. The order and harmony of universe is sustained through balance, and the order and harmony of your life is sustained through balance. If the planets of our solar system move out of balance, violent clashing and destruction follows. When you lose yourbalance, chaos, confusion and conflict must ensue in your circumstances.
Instead of futilely struggling to get your beloved to rescue you from imbalance, use The Method to free your energy from creating your state of imbalance. Allow yourself to fully feel all of your discomfort, then move into the feeling of loving yourself, and proceed through the rest of the steps of The Method from there. When you complete the process, see if you feel whole, complete, balanced, harmonious, fulfilled and happy in just the way things are. If not, repeat the process. Do this repeatedly until you feel whole and free.
The more consistently you live in the fullness of your unconditional joy, the more your feelings of joy manifest all the conditions you could ever want in your life, including periods of miraculous union with your soulmate or your beloved. These periods are going to be transitory, though, just like every other condition in the world. If you cling to what is, resist it moving into what was, your resistance places you in pain, loss and longing. You become less fun to be with, more needy, desperate and imbalanced and this produces more problems for yourself.
The more deeply and strongly you adore someone, the more you want that person’s presence, that person’s energy, that person’s connection. This makes you all about taking, not giving. Allow yourself to experience the fire of adoration and then, instead of trying to get the object of your adoration to satisfy you, use The Method to free you from the feeling of need for that satisfaction. This lets that person follow her own course of action, sense and know what she needs to do to be who she truly is and to live the life she truly wants, without your opposition or oppression. She must then love you for your perfect support. This does not mean that you can use this supportiveness as a way to manipulate her into depending upon you and giving you what you want in order to get what she believes she wants. That won’t work, because it means that you are already being dishonest in the relationship and betraying her trust. Since we get back what we send out, you can then only receive resentment, not adoration, in return for your efforts.
Conditions match up with our desires from time to time, and then they don’t. It is madness to operate with the belief that we can keep things as they are, or change what is into what we want. You cannot change what is. By the time you are about to impose a change on what is,it isno longer. But you can choose to love or to not love what is. Since love is how you want to feel, and love is evidence of the universe’s perfection, you might as well make love your choice.
Falling in love consciouslymeans that we are aware of what is going on with our energy. We see how we are operating, how our reactions are working, how we are setting ourselves up for the results we are getting. Instead of pursuing a hopeless course of madness aimed at extinguishing the flame of love, we are able to stoke that flame and benefit from the higher level of energy it releases within us. This can lead us to more inspired states of understanding, insight and action and it means that we have more to give to our beloved, and to everyone else in our life.
When we use The Method to free us from desperate clinging and hot pursuit, we allow the energy released by falling in love to empower our experience ourselves as more fulfilled than we have ever been. We experience a profound expansion of the love of life on a feeling leveland relish the scintillating excitement of surrendering control over people and circumstances. We live in expanding joy and fulfillment and find more and more of what we truly want unfolding in our lives with a minimum of effort and a maximum of awe and appreciation. We adeptly handle the powerful jolt of energy that comes from falling in love, and channel it into our growth, by falling in love consciously.
To enhance the value of this message, click on the video below to check out my 24 minute audio program: Mastering loneliness on my Youtube channel.