The Method For Falling In Love
Soul Mates, Soul Contracts And Soul Growth
Mastering Loneliness
Ending Or Beginning A Relationship
The Method For Relationship Satisfaction
The Method For Freedom From Emotionally Unavailable People
The Method For Overcoming Rejection
The Method For Finding The ONE

Truth About Soul Mates, Soul Contracts And Soul Growth

By the close of this deep article you will understand how you and your Soul Mate are already connected, and what you are doing to keep the two of your apart from the experience of all-fulfilling conscious union.  You will understand the role that Soul Contracts plays in your seeming separation and true union, and the role of true Soul Growth in the process.  Through this understanding you can more rapidly advance into total Soul Mate Union that completes your capacity to experience infinite love in your life.


First, the truth about Soul Mates, what blocks conscious Soul Mate union and what to do about that blockage.


Your Soul Mate is your Twin Flame, the polarity aspect of your Soul’s wholeness or oneness.  To be with your Soul Mate is to feel that you are wholly at one with your self.  There is no thought of any other.  There is no sense of duality or separation.  You are dwelling in a state of oneness, of pure presence, of total love.  This experience brings an enflamed realization in your heart as your consciousness rises to the crescendo of Perfect Love.  


The love you feel for your Soul Mate is not love for another.  Because your Soul Mate is as much you as you are yourself, the love that soars to the highest heights is your love for yourself.  You will soon see how to use this understanding to advance toward complete union with your Soul Mate.  


First, we need to understand what blocks or limits that union.


You are limited in your experience of union with your Soul Mate by your degree of longing to meet and unite with your Soul Mate.  This sounds perplexing, but it’s actually pretty simple as we unpack that statement. 


All personal desire and longing stem from your disassociation with your True Self.  You desire your Soul Mate to fill the void of your lack of True Love for your True Self.  As long as you identify with this desire and let it run your life, it runs you into increasing longing and leads you away from the fulfillment you are after.


True love for Self is not an egotistic or selfish or conceited brand of love.  It is an unconditional expression of ultimate reverence for the purity, perfection and divinity that is your truly sacred nature.  It is not connected with any thoughts or ideas of who you are, what you have, what you have done or what you want.  It is a feeling of unconditional love for the Being that you are, for the sheer presence of your existence.  It is an existential kind of love.


To advance toward union with your Soul Mate you need to surrender your personal ego-attachment to finding and uniting with your Soul Mate.  


In other words, you have to turn the whole process over to God.  Soul Mate union is the fruit of your conscious experience of union with the Divine within you.  Personal ego patterns of preference, attachment and control are all that stand in the way.  You have to place God’s Will, Guidance, Love and Direction ahead of the personal demands of any person, including your own, including your Soul Mate’s.  Your utter surrender to the Divine brings Divine Union, and that is all that can bring you and your Soul Mate together.  


Your Soul Mate’s Soul Contract with you, and your Soul Contract with your Soul Mate, is that the two of you will devote yourselves to Divine Will, to Divine Oneness, to the Love of God ahead of personal control over your own lives and over one another.  You have agreed that this union will be about two individuals united in service of Divine Union with the world.  


As you follow God’s guidance in the world, you are fulfilling God’s purpose for the world, and the purpose of your place within the world.


To advance toward total Soul Mate union is to go through Soul Growth in the world.  For this, you must stop trying to control your life, your outcomes, your internal experiences and other people.  You must learn how to constantly let-go and open yourself to Divine Guidance in every situation.  Your prayers must be nothing more than asking God to reveal what God Knows is best for you to know and do right now. In other words, instead of trying to guide God, seek to be guided by God.  If you are open and sincere and you truly let go of personal control, you will receive God’s guidance every time you ask for it.  


So, the way to union with your Soul Mate is by entrusting the meeting of all your needs and wants, including your desire for your Soul Mate, to the Divine.


Your understanding of Soul Mate union will increase as you understand the nature of Soul Contracts.  


Look back over your life to recognize the relationships where you felt truly helped, supported and cared for by others.  This happened as a result of Soul Contracts that you willingly entered into prior to your incarnation.  The Soul Growth of those others would be benefited by helping you in the ways they did.   


Now look back at relationships in which you felt abused or mistreated by others.  This happened as a result of Soul Contracts that you willingly entered into prior to your soul’s incarnation as well.  To understand this further, we need to step ahead to look at the truth about Soul Growth.


The truth about Soul Growth is that it is the sole (no pun intended) purpose of your incarnation.  


You are not here to satisfy your personal desires.  You are here for Soul Growth, which ultimately fulfills all of your desires through the experience of conscious Oneness with the Divine.  Now, here is the truth about Soul Growth that most of us don’t want to hear.  The Soul grows is sustained through the support that we receive from others, but Soul Growth happens through suffering. The personal ego or false self grows through unenlightened worldly success.  Let’s dig deeper into this.


Any worldly help, assistance or support that others give you comes to you to sustain the worldly conditions your Soul needs to Grow through.  While it seems to come from other people, it is really a manifestation of Divine Grace working through those other people, and willingly shared by those people in conscious or unconscious obedience to their Divine Guidance.  


If you become prideful, arrogant or use the support you receive from others to feed your personal ego, you are just setting yourself up for more suffering.  If you become psychologically dependent upon those other people you are disconnecting from Divine Grace.  In both instances, by letting the personal ego usurp control, you will need to lose what you have been given for your Soul Growth.


When take pride in worldly success, feeling that you have it together, that you are better than another or better off than another, you are experiencing the essential pitfall of success.  It’s called “Hubris” and the ancient Greeks taught that Hubris constitutes a fall from Grace.  As you will see later, Grace is all that brings all you truly want.  Grace expands in our life through the Soul Growth that occurs through personal ego diminution.


The more you think of yourself as successful and prosperous in a worldly sense, you seem to have what you want, the more prideful you are likely to be until your attachment to your personal ego dissolves.  As the personal ego grows inflated with personal pride it overshadows and suppresses the Soul.  It places getting what you want ahead of living in Divine Oneness.  It places the dictates of the personal ego ahead of the Guidance Of God.  This is all done in perfect cosmic order, as the inflated personal ego is really just a set-up for a personal crisis that brings the opportunity of Soul Growth.


Soul Growth takes place through suffering because all that suffering really is can be described as the dismantling of attachment to and identification with the personal ego.  


The deepest suffering is the experience of our deepest personal desires going unmet.  Our sense of personal pride, worth and value then feel crushed.  As we go through this emotionally devastation consciously, we can discover that the way to release from our suffering is through release from our identification with and attachment to the personal ego.  


We must lose all faith in our personal capacity to bring us fulfillment.  This is a dark and dismal “place” to find ourselves in, until we open to the true inner fulfillment that comes from surrendering control over our lives to the Divine.  Our inner pain then turns into inner peace as we relax our struggle to be in personal dominion over our life, over our self, and over other people; as we turn the whole thing over to the Supreme Power of the Divine experienced within.


Your Soul Contracts with those who abused you involve them giving you the opportunity to go through the crises that deliver Soul Growth.  


Prior to entering this incarnation, you, as your Soul, your True Self, knew that you needed to go through certain personal crises for your Soul Growth.  Perhaps you needed to be rejected by your family.  Perhaps you needed to feel utterly humiliated by teasing or mockery.  Perhaps you needed to go through the loss of self-value through being physically beaten, raped, robbed, or disabled.  Perhaps you needed to go through all of this and more for as much Soul Growth as you chose to experience.  Whatever forms of suffering your Soul needed to go through for height of Soul Growth that you wanted to attain determined the kinds and degrees of abuse you chose to go through.


On a Soul level, prior to your incarnation, you identified individuals who’s Soul Growth required them to pass through cycles of Hubris, of personal empowerment, to set them up for the inevitable crisis that would lead to their Soul Growth later in this life time, or in some future life time.  These individuals chose to go through the life-experiences they needed to prepare them to deliver the abuse to you that your Soul needed to Grow through.  


Essentially, you volunteered to help the Soul Growth of those who hurt you by being the victim of their particular forms of abusiveness, forms of abusiveness that they needed to deliver to set them up for their own Soul Growth when their Hubris brings them their crisis.  You did this based on your understanding that you needed to pass through these forms of abuse to get free from the personal ego patterns of attachment, control and self-attack that would arise in you in response.


You need every experience of suffering you go through to work through your personal pain and inner longing patterns, until you entirely turn every aspect of your life, including the process of your perfect union with your Soul Mate, over to the Divine.  


You hasten the process by using all forms of suffering to become more self-aware.  


As you look within to examine the real causes of your emotional pain you ultimately recognize that all that hurts is the dissolution of the personal ego.  Your personal ego is not getting its needs and desires met.  It feels like you are starving to death on an emotional level, but it is just your personal ego, your false self, that is starving.  This happens when your life is not reflecting who you thought you were or think you need to be.  At the deeper levels it includes losing your sense of identity and life is no longer making sense.  It happens when life just hurts too much to seem to matter.


As you go through your suffering consciously, embracing it rather than resisting it, you become more and more ready, willing and able to turn the whole thing over to the Divine.  


“I don’t know how to live.  I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know what it’s all about.  You handle it, God. You guide me.”  That prayer of utter desolation precedes your utter fulfillment.  As you pray in this way, from the bottom of your heart, more and more, your identification with your personal ego dissolves and you identify more and more with your Soul.  Simultaneously, your suffering is transformed into feelings of profound peace, love, joy and perfection.  


Turning your life over to God is the ultimate state of fulfillment that we all long for, knowingly or unknowingly.  It alone unites us with our Soul Mate.


To the extent that we resent and fight against those who hurt us we are really fighting in defense of the personal ego.  When you use experiences of torment in a relationship to release yourself from the ways that you torment yourself in response to those people, you make God more important than other people and experience the joy and liberation of Soul Growth through liberation from identification with your personal ego – your false self.


You and your Soul Mate unite more and more completely, essentially, as you unite with the Divine, and make the Divine more important to you than any other person, including the person of your Soul Mate.  


As you live more and more in surrender to the Divine you allow your Inner Divine Matrimony with your Soul Mate to progress.


The fact that the personal ego, and not the Soul tends to grow through worldly success does not mean that we have to resist success and pursue a life of abject poverty, hardship and lack.  


We need to dissolve fearful resistance to any experience, including worldly success.  We need to surrender any urge to control our life at all.  The point is to turn the whole thing over to God.  


When you achieve any form of worldly success your first impulse will be to want to control it, to keep it going, to get even more to protect you from losing what you have.  But giving up that control releases your Soul Growth; it fulfills the purpose of your life; it advances you into more complete union with your Soul’s Mate.  


Whenever you fear a loss or lack you are fearing the loss of your personal ego or false self. 


As you release your effort to control and relax into entrusting your life’s course to the Divine, you obtain liberation from your suffering and release within you more of the unspeakable joy, peace and love that arises with your Soul Growth.


Union with your Soul Mate comes by Grace, not by forcing.  


You cannot control it.  You cannot make your Soul Mate come to you in the way that you want.  All efforts to do so actually prevent the union you long for.  This is true of all that you desire in life.  You really cannot make any of it happen, not for more than an instant.  The moment you believe that you have achieved your goal, arrived at the top, and begin to pride yourself for your accomplishment your suffering starts to grow.  


Divine Grace or Love takes care of all your needs and wants and you discover your total satisfaction in turning the process of meeting all your needs and wants over to the Divine.


This does not mean that you are to lead a passive life.  


It means that you realize that you have no idea of what you should do now, what you should do next.  You also realize a need to know.  To satisfy this need turn the whole thing over to God, get internally quiet and still, and “listen” for the Word or guidance of the Divine.  


Your idea prayer, then, is not, “Please give me what I want” but rather “Please guide me with Your Perfect Knowledge.”  If you remain still, open, receptive and willing to follow the guidance you receive, it will come.  It will lead you into the actions that bear the fruit of all things wanted, needed and longed for, including your total union with your Soul Mate.  


It is through intense suffering that the personal ego finally comes to the end of its rope, when we are willing to let go of that rope, to let go of trying to control our lives and stop trying to figure anything out.  We have to utterly lose faith in the power and wisdom of our personal will to surrender with trust to whatever is happening and to whatever is going to happen, to open ourselves to non-resistance toward whatever happens.  As we do this we experience the profound inner peace, love, bliss and delight that we can call the Divine Presence.  


That Presence is the unspeakably heavenly Energy of Grace rising up within you, filling you with bliss.  That Divine Energy that wants to take perfect care of you and it always will as long as you don’t interfere with it through trying to direct your life according to personal preferences.  


Be grateful toward the Grace of Inner Bliss when you feel it.  As you do this you will realize that you are being grateful toward your True Self, toward the Divine Essence of your very being.  


As you love this Love, this harmonious Energy of Divine Grace, you are loving your self.  This is that love that you seek from your Soul Mate, and your Soul Mate comes to you as the fulfillment of that love.


Live in service of the expansion of the experience of Grace that arises within you in the form of inner blissfulness and peace, love and joyful contentment, delightful trust in God.  Do that which nurtures and strengthens your conscious experience of the Divine Presence within you and offer others whatever help you can give them, help they are willing to accept and value, for their growing experience of Divine Grace in their lives.  


That is how to fulfill your life’s purpose.  That is how to receive the support you need from others.  That defines the quintessential bond with your Soul Mate.


My phone-coaching using The Method assists sincere individuals in the process of shifting our of a life of emotional struggle and pain, into a life of joyful inner peace and Grace.  Contact me to discuss how this can work for you. 

If you would like me to present an inspiring talk on the topic of Soul Mates, Soul Contracts and Soul Growth, contact me to discuss your needs.  I travel worldwide in service of this mission.  Phone: 770-364-9580   Email:

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